Grandparents Birthday Party

Photo by James Besser on Unsplash

When my mother passed away in November, I simultaneously became a 59 ½-year-old orphan and the oldest living member of my immediate family. It is sobering to think of my ongoing responsibilities to extended family members in this dual role.

I am the oldest of five siblings. My brother and I are the bookends of the brood, with 12 years and three sisters in between us. I call him my “favorite” brother; he (lovingly) refers to me as his “only” brother.

My father passed away before my brother’s two teenage sons were born, so they will know their grandfather only if we teach them about him. And they need to know the great heritage that he left them.

My father is the finest man I have ever known. He was kind, hard-working, and trustworthy. He behaved the same way in public as he did at home. I never saw him say or do anything inappropriate, nor did he ever raise his voice in anger. If I can be half as good a man as he was, my life will be a success.

And my mother was his equal. She was a writer, a poet, and a teacher, whose passion for perfection led her on a life-long quest for learning. But most of all, she had an unlimited capacity to love. If Mom decided that you were worth loving (and very few people were not worthy in her estimation), she would love your fervently and unceasingly.

My four siblings live within 15 minutes of our home. Nearly all of our children live within a stone’s throw as well, which means that we have regular opportunities to get together for extended family celebrations.

So we gathered together recently to celebrate my father’s (July 7) and mother’s (August 15) birthdays. We had 34 adults (my parents’ children and grandchildren) and 12 children (their great-grandchildren) present; we missed those who were not able to attend because of illness or distance.

And food! We had lots of food. I smoked nine racks of St. Louis style pork ribs, which we slathered with homemade cherry barbecue sauce. We made mac and cheese and served it with cornbread. Everyone else brought food to match our BBQ theme.

The only thing better than eating good food is eating good food with people you love. We laughed, loved, and ate until we could eat no more.

We may have started a new family tradition.

Smoked Pork Ribs

  • St. Louis style pork ribs
  • ½ cup brown sugar
  • ¼ cup kosher salt
  • ¼ cup ground black pepper
  • 2 tablespoons smoked paprika
  • Tart cherry juice

Remove the ribs from the refrigerator about one hour before you begin cooking so that they can come to room temperature. Heat your smoker to 250*.

Mix the brown sugar, salt, pepper, and paprika thoroughly. Pat the ribs dry with a paper towel. Remove the membrane on the bone side of the ribs. You may need to use pliers to get a grip on the membrane.

Season both sides of the ribs with liberal amounts of the rub. Put the ribs upright in a rib rack. Place the ribs into the smoker.

The ribs need to smoke about 5 to 6 hours. Check the ribs hourly to monitor their progress. Spray the ribs with tart cherry juice each hour to keep them moist and to infuse them with flavor. The ribs are done when they are dark brown and crusty, with the meat pulling back a bit from the tips of the bones.

Cherry BBQ Sauce

(Adapted from Steven Raichlen’s Best Ribs Ever)

  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
  • 1 medium onion, chopped
  • 2 cups fresh or frozen sour cherries
  • 1 ½ cups tart cherry juice
  • ½ cup ketchup
  • ½ cup cider vinegar
  • ½ cup brown sugar
  • 2 tablespoons honey
  • ¼ cup cherry preserves
  • 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
  • Kosher salt and  ground pepper to taste

Melt the butter in a heavy saucepan over medium heat. Add the onions, and cook until they are translucent. Add the cherries and cook until the mixture is soft.

Add the cherry juice, and increase the heat to high. Let the mixture simmer until the liquid is reduced almost by half.

Reduce the heat to medium. Add the remaining ingredients. Let the sauce simmer for about 6 minutes.

Remove the pan from the heat and let the sauce cool. Puree in a blender. Taste the sauce, and add additional salt and pepper if needed. Makes about 3 cups.

5 Tips for Finding a Job (Part 5)

Photo by Steven Wright on Unsplash

No. 5 – Find (or create) an underserved niche that excites you, and become a thought leader in that area.

Lawyers are an odd bunch. We try to distinguish ourselves by copying our peers. We dress alike, we speak the same language (legalese), and we market ourselves indistinguishably, using the same words to extoll our differences that our competitors use to describe themselves.

And then we wonder why prospective employers cannot tell us apart.

New graduates don’t have a monopoly on this problem. Law firms have difficulty articulating how they differ from their competitors in a way that resonates with their target clientele. Virtually every law firm web site describes its practice areas using the same words. And they all do “top quality work” for “competitive prices.”

If you want to stand out, you need to look and sound different from your competition. You must think differently about what you do and about what you want to do.

You are not limited to describing your practice in the standard vernacular. Find your own niche. Create your own practice area. Combine your interests – including interests outside of the law – and be the first one to stake your claim to that legal territory.

For example, if you are a new lawyer who wants to practice plaintiff’s personal injury law in the Phoenix metropolitan area (where I practice), you must go to the end of the line where thousands of “experienced, aggressive” lawyers are practicing ahead of you. You are in direct competition with each one of them.

Instead of fighting the crowd, find an underserved segment of the market. The market can be segmented into a limitless area of needs. Your market segment might be based on geography, industry, economic status, cultural background, or other demographic distinction. It might be tied to developing trends (e.g., legal analytics), new laws (GDPR, anyone?), or emerging industries (cloud computing).

Once you have chosen your niche, ask yourself what keeps your target clients up at night. Identify what your prospective clients need, and then figure out how to meet those needs.

Many people complain that there are “too many” lawyers. A number of years ago I participated in a marketing webinar that debunked this notion and changed the way I think about marketing myself.

The speaker was a seasoned lawyer who had practiced for more than 40 years. He identified the array of federal laws that had been enacted in the time that he had been practicing law. The list was stunning: Title VII, Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, Environmental Protection Act, Obamacare, Family and Medical Leave Act, Age Discrimination in Employment Act, Clean Air Act, Defend Trade Secrets Act, and dozens of other pieces of legislation. Many of the acts also have state equivalents.

Each of those acts creates a confusing maze that organizations and individuals must learn to navigate. Each of the acts creates a ready-made pool of clients for savvy lawyers who can confidently speak the language and give meaningful answers to questions. Each gives you an opportunity to create a niche, become an expert in the niche you created, and distinguish yourself from the competition.

As long as legislatures keep passing laws, people will need smart lawyers to help them avoid legal quagmires. Be that lawyer. Find the need, and figure out how to meet it. Then go to the head of the line, market yourself as an expert, and help your client navigate through the legal maze.

(Last in a series)

5 Tips for Finding a Job (Part 4)

No. 4: Seek out a mentor to help you on your career path.

The best way to land a job is through a personal referral. Yes, you can find a job by flooding the market with unsolicited resumes or by applying for every opening that comes available. But when you do so, you become part of the nameless, faceless crowd vying for a position.

A personal referral, on the other hand, automatically distinguishes you from the competition and places you in the “second review” pile of resumes. A personal referral is a differentiator that can help you along the pathway to professional success.

Working with a mentor can help you generate personal referrals. Mentors come from many different stations of life. Your mentor might be a professor, a friend’s parent, a work colleague, a neighbor, a fellow congregant, or a former classmate. You might even reach out to someone you admire from a distance.

How do you convince someone to be your mentor? The answer is simple: Ask. Most people are willing to give meaningful advice if you will ask.

Ask your mentor for referrals for your job search. Does he know anyone who is hiring? Ask for recommendations and career advice. What groups and associations should you join? Ask about your preferred job niche. How can you distinguish yourself in that niche? Ask for advice, then follow through on that advice.

Several years ago, I received an unsolicited email from a woman who was a third-year law student in another state. She advised that she was interested in practicing employment law in Phoenix and referenced another lawyer in town – a graduate of her alma mater – who had suggested that I might be able to give her some guidance on the job market.

Note that she did not ask me for a job, she asked me for advice.

I respect the attorney who had given her my name. I was flattered that this student thought that I could give her meaningful assistance in her job hunt. And I was impressed that she had formulated a career plan and that was taken the initiative to implement her plan.

We agreed to meet the next time she was in town. I explained that my firm did not have any job openings at that time, but agreed that we could talk about the job market and general advice for a job search.

When we met a few weeks later, I was impressed with her qualifications. She was smart, articulate, and outgoing. She presented herself well and asked good questions. She was receptive to my comments and suggestions for her job hunt.

She followed up with me several weeks later. By then, we were getting busier at the office. My partners and I realized that we could use an associate shortly. We invited her in for a second meeting so that she could meet some of my partners. They were as impressed with her as I was.

Several months after our first meeting, we made her a job offer. Fortunately, she accepted. She has become an invaluable member of our team. And she has made me look good many times over.

I have tried to be a good mentor to her. I involve her with my cases whenever possible. We regularly meet to discuss litigation strategy and skills. She is not relegated to writing research memos and reviewing stacks of documents, but instead regularly meets with clients, argues in court, and handles her own cases.

We have developed a genuine friendship and respect for one another. But none of this would have happened if she had not taken the initiative to reach out and ask me for advice.

Seek out a mentor who can help you on your career path. You’ll be glad that you did.

(To be continued)

5 Tips for Finding a Job (Part 3)

A terrific way to differentiate yourself is to show your prospective employer that you understand needs – and that you are uniquely qualified to meet those needs.

No. 3: Help your prospective employer understand how you will make his life easier.

You are a terrific human being who has the skills, drive, and determination to succeed in the position. Your dog and your mother love you. Why is it so hard to get a prospective employer to love you back?

The answer is simple: You have not looked at the hiring experience from the employer’s perspective.

You might believe that since you are competing for the job against a cast of thousands, you need to trumpet how wonderful you are so that you shine in comparison to other applicants. There is some truth to that thought. But unlike your dog and your mother who love you unconditionally, your prospective employer will love you only if you first give some love to the firm.

Look at the hiring experience through the employer’s perspective. The hiring partner is taking time away from her busy practice to meet with you. While the two of you are chatting, clients are calling, emails are landing in her inbox, and judges are scheduling trial deadlines. Moreover, her partners will judge her competence based on the performance of whichever applicant she ultimately chooses to hire. She has a lot on her mind.

If you want to land the job, you must show her that you are a safe choice.

You may think that you are applying for work because you need a job. In reality, however, you are interviewing for a position only because the employer needs help. If you want to get hired, you need to prove that you will make the employer’s job easier.

Show your prospective employer that you understand her needs and that you can meet those needs. Professional competence is the ticket that admits you to this dance. Tell her about experiences in your background that prove your dependability. Explain how you work well with others. Describe your ability to adapt to changing circumstances. It is your job to convince her that her life will be easier with you on board.

To do so, you must forget your own interests and instead view things from the perspective of your prospective employer. Take a genuine interest in the firm, the clients it services, and its practice areas. Ask yourself, “How can I uniquely meet this firm’s needs?” Then convince the hiring partner that you are not only a safe choice, but that her partners will consider her a genius for having the good sense to hire you.

Be careful how you express your love to the prospective employer. I remember a young lady who said in her cover letter that my firm would be a “good place to start my career.” By saying that she wanted to “start” her career with my firm, she (perhaps unknowingly) suggested that she would leave as soon as she found a “better” opportunity. As a small law firm, we could not afford to hire someone, train her for a year or two, and have her bolt the first time a “better” job came along. I liken her letter to a young man proposing marriage to his girlfriend by asking, “Will you be my first wife?” It’s not a good look.

Once you begin to view your job search through the employer’s perspective, you quickly will understand how to position yourself to meet the employer’s needs.

(To be continued)