Strength Through Adversity

Life is a series of contrasts. Sickness helps us appreciate health, bitter defines sweet, and darkness explains light.

Muscles must be torn down before they can be built up. And so it is with women and men. To be truly happy, we must first experience setbacks and adversity and learn how to find joy in the journey.

Opposition and failure are part of every life. Embrace them as you would a dear friend and learn the lessons that come only after you wrestle with adversity. As Benjamin Disraeli noted, “There is no education like adversity.”

A human heart is a marvel of nature. Without rest, its four chambers work in harmony to pump oxygen-rich blood to the nethermost parts of your body and back again. Your heart does its job so well that you scarcely notice it, until it stops working properly.

Four valves separate the chambers of your heart. A normal heart valve has three flaps that look somewhat like a peace symbol. When your heart contracts, the flaps open to expel blood from the chamber; as your heart relaxes, the flaps quickly close to prevent blood from rushing back in.

I was born with a bicuspid aortic valve, which means that two of the three flaps in my valve were fused together. I was unaware of this condition for more than 55 years. Over time, the valve became stiffer and failed to close completely, leading to a series of physical complications. My heart struggled to keep me alive.

On May 26, 2015, I had open heart surgery to replace the defective valve. The surgeon made an 8-inch incision in my chest, split my rib cage in half through the sternum, and replaced the defective valve with a pig valve.

The surgeon stopped my heart so that he could perform his miracle. While he worked, a bypass machine kept me alive, diverting my blood through its filters, removing carbon dioxide, oxygenating the blood, and returning the life-sustaining blood to my body.

I vaguely remember coming out of anesthesia in the ICU, then spent a week in the hospital. Four weeks after surgery, I returned to the office a few hours each day. Though I felt appreciably better each day, my recovery was slow. Even today, I cannot do many physical activities.

Some six months after surgery, I learned that my heart was shocked 19 times before it started beating regularly on its own. I struggled with arrhythmia for months.

My heart challenges have been significant. It is an experience that I would not have voluntarily chosen for myself. And yet I am profoundly grateful that I could go through this challenge.

Adversity makes you strong because being strong is your only option. It teaches you important lessons that cannot be learned through other means. My heart problems taught me great lessons about life and love and perspective.  Things that once bothered me intensely don’t seem nearly so important. My wife says that I have become “sappier.” (She’s right.) Life is good.

Lou Holtz has observed, “Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.”

Everyone experiences adversity. You can become consumed with your particular version of adversity and let it define your life. Or your adversity can school you, strengthen you, and inspire you to do something worthwhile. Learning how to overcome adversity is a recipe for success.