Photo by Daniel Delle Donne on Unsplash
At some point in your business dealings, you will have to negotiate with a bully.
Bullies take many forms and employ different negotiating styles. The classic bully tries to intimidate you into doing what she wants. Her typical tactics are pressure and threats.
Other bullies are easy to get along with, but try to gain power in the negotiation by taking extreme (and irrational) positions. They overreach, then try to get you to “split the difference” based on their initial unreasonable position.
Remember, the person with the least amount of interest controls the negotiation. So if you want to shift the power in the negotiation, you have to persuade the bully that you are willing to walk away from the negotiation. You have to become the person with the least amount of interest — or at least convince the bully that you are willing to walk away from the negotiating table.
Silence can be a valuable tactic in your negotiations with a bully.
A bully gains power by getting you to engage with him. He hopes that you will become stressed and frustrated, which will lead you to accept a bad deal with him. If you refuse to engage with the bully, he loses power over you. Your silence can help shift the balance of power.
Bullies thrive on conflict, the messier the better. They know that most people find conflict distressing. And, when thrust into a distressing situation, most people will do anything to relieve their discomfort, even if it means entering into a deal that they will regret once the conflict has ended.
When you refuse to engage with a bully, you switch the tables on him. You become the person with the least interest in the negotiation, which gives you control over the negotiation.
Silence — refusing to engage — can be a useful tactic in your negotiations with a bully.